Any name can be used to give children a hard time. My last name was turned to bird shit because they couldn't think of anything for Bircha (wrong spelling just phonetic). I think my first name is the worst because 5 girls had it with me, 3 with the same middle name and all were serious bitches. So... you hear my name you think oh a bitch is coming!

Yeah... anyhoo.

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Someone named their kid 'Sex Fruit' once. I think that might fuck a wee one up something fierce.

Although if Selim indeed name his successive kids after booze as well, Pabst Blue Ribbon Starr would be pretty traumatizing awesome.

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I met someone who was named "Brandy" because that's what her parents had been drinking the night she was conceived.
*cringe*

Yeah, that'd fuck me right up, too.

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My ex in laws named their kid Jackson Daniel, he was born on 4/20. They knew exactly what they were doing since JD is the favored drink of the father. Luck of the draw on the bday but apropos for the family. I was thinking of a substance abuse fund for when he hits his teens. Either way, thank the gawds they are ex-in-laws.

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I know a JD too went to school with him, lol his name was the same we called him JD

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What about Daniel Jackson from Stargate??

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I remain biased in favor of Hamish being one of the worst names ever. I've only ever heard of three individuals being named Hamish - and one of them was a hamster.

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Berkeley Rose and Alisa Bryant - pronounced in English with a SERIOUS Japanese accent.

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I had to mimic that several times to get it wow lol I wonder what my kid's name would sound like lol

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Bar ku lee Roe zu

A ri saa Bu rye an to

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We make sure the names have all sorts of incredibly non-Japanese consonant clusters so that people clearly understand that this story is NOT IN FREAKIN' JAPAN! This, despite the way our layout artist's ideas of what Scotland looks like are based on a single tourist brochure for Essex that they saw about ten years ago.

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In New Zealand it's an extremely common guy's name.

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Seriously? The only other human I've ever met with "Hamish" was a Kiwi.

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I know a Penelope Profit (aka Penny Profit).

My parents like to joke that my bother was almost named Ivan Ulysses Dudley because he was conceived with an IUD in place.

I know a Catnip Echo Ridge Fredrick (yes on his birth certificate).

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He is actually my cousin! My middle name is catnip in recognition of him! how do you know him?

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This reminds me of that SNL sketch where Nicolas Cage plays a guy named Asswipe (pronounced "Os-wee-pay").

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92ababynames.phtml

Edited at 2009-01-15 12:56 am (UTC)

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I went to school with a girl named Cindy Corn. She had a sister. Named Candy.

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hunter hamil
drum flowers
are people i have met

and of course
Richard "Dick" Hertz
from Holden! mass.
Dick Hurts from Holdin'.

yer welcome

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Waaaaaaaay back when I was working at FRC, I was working on a school survey for Apple. I called principals all over the United States and Canada. I called a town in Newfoundland called Dildo, and spoke with a principal named Richard Peed.

I thought you'd appreciate that!

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Just plain Satan. No middle name. You can't even shorten it to anything cute or to hide the fact that you named your kid... Satan.

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I love it; short and sweet! Or maybe short and bitter. Either way, it's a great name to not name a child.

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The names I listed are two sisters my mother knew when she was growing up. I am just surprised people like that don't grow up to become mass murderers.

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Ack! I forgot about the kid who lived down the street from me when I was little...

Justin Case.

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It turns out that super duper racists always say they're not being racist.

It's like how Andrew Eldritch always insists he's not a goth.

Only racist instead of goth.

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Also, XKCD has another suggestion: http://xkcd.com/327/

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That's very elegant. In a bad way.

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There's a bad kind of elegance?

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"Ogbor" was always our placeholder name for our kids while they were in the womb. We didn't realize anyone would take it seriously until one of our neighbors met our son a week or two after his birth and said, "So this is little Ogbor!" A friend of ours used "Elvis" as a placeholder name for our kids -- I don't know what she didn't like about "Ogbor".

We often would jokingly threaten our kids with changing their names to "Buckwheat Rainbow Thomson-Kelly." Either that, or name one Rufus and the other Dufus.

I have personally known an Uranio, a Yoloxichitl and a Sun Ra (brothers and sister, and their names were the least of their problems). Yoloxichitl at least shortens to "Yolo".

We hung an unusual name on our daughter but at least it was short and didn't have any Nazi history. She didn't seem to mind -- though at the age of 24 or so she started using a different (equally unusual) one.

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My dad told me that if I'd been a boy, they would have named me Nebuchadnezzar Ashurbanipal. My parents also joked that they nearly made my middle name Tanya, my first being Maura.

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ok I will put my kid up Chance Basile *prepares for onslaught*
My middle name is Augusta

Oh and I went to school with kids named,Jackson Daniels, Margarita, Jim Beam, and Manson Charles, yeah Montana is seriously fucked up.

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Wow, yeah! I guess Montana has issues.

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Actually, there is a girl here who was called "Talula does the hula from Hawaii" for real. She took her parents to court to change it because she got too much shit for it in school (this is a child, I think even under 10). Court agreed.

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That was one of the other names I was thinking about when I wrote this poll.

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I once had a classmate named this, although she put the emphasis on the second syllable.

--Miriam

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